Annoying Wildlife Problem

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    What to Do with The BIrd

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    gdead65
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    Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by gdead65 on Tue Apr 12, 2011 3:54 pm

    I have been presented with an interesting wildlife problem:

    Right outside of my front door there is a small light fixture.
    Every night when I come home I find the beginnings of a nest on top of the light fixture. For the first couple of days it was a couple of twigs and strands of string which I would promptly remove. However-The bird is getting more and more efficient and the nest is almost getting completed during the day. When I took it down today, the bird took a run at me! I have no idea what type of avian species this is but it is Brown and Fast!


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    KennyMcKillmick
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by KennyMcKillmick on Tue Apr 12, 2011 4:02 pm

    Have you concidered moving the nest?


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    gdead65
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by gdead65 on Tue Apr 12, 2011 4:13 pm

    As my stalker will tell you- I live in a pretty urban area and there are not many trees or good 'nesting' places. I did try to move all the debris once, but it found its way back to my light fixture.


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    STORMTROOPER729

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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by STORMTROOPER729 on Tue Apr 12, 2011 4:19 pm

    Take down the light fixture and laugh in the birds face


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    OBkY Nova
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by OBkY Nova on Tue Apr 12, 2011 4:35 pm

    Sounds pretty delicious right about now. Wink
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    riafomh
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by riafomh on Tue Apr 12, 2011 5:42 pm

    Okay, my bad - I added the fourth polling option. Feel free to bitch-slap me and remove it gdead, for I know such things can be insulting to people.

    Sounds like you don't get many 'wildlife opportunities' if you are in an urban area - don't you want to enjoy the nature?

    My parents put out some bird houses and now enjoy watching the little buggers mate, fly, fight, get eaten by cats, have babies, kick them out of the nest to fly or die, etc. They even get different species in different years. Cheap entertainment. Feed 'em, too.

    You can put the bird house close to the light fixture, yet out of your way so that you can still get in and out of your front door poop-free. With all that people-traffic, you'd think the bird would prefer something a little off to the side.

    Anyway, I am NO bird expert, that's for sure. I remember being a kid though and being scared to death by the numerous swallows that dive-bombed me into submission once when I took a stroll through THEIR part of the woods.


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    Abahab
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Abahab on Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:07 pm

    riafomh wrote: I remember being a kid though and being scared to death by the numerous swallows that dive-bombed me into submission once when I took a stroll through THEIR part of the woods.

    I once had the pleasure of being dive-bombed by a peregrine falcon. I was hiking with my dad in New Hampshire. We were eating lunch on top of a mountain when we noticed the falcon flying high above us. Shortly after the falcon thought it'd be fun to dive-bomb us. It dropped faster than any animal I've seen. It sounded equivalent to opening your window on the highway.


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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by xArc of Godx on Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:52 pm

    If the bird is slender and has white tipped wings it is probably a mockingbird. They are brown and fast as shit and extremely territorial so it doesn't take much to provoke an attack. I had an issue with one for about a year at my old house. He would attack me any time I went swimming. I fucking hated that thing. Definite 'Eat it'.
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    riafomh
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by riafomh on Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:54 pm

    WAIT !!!

    Haven't you ever read "To Kill A Mockingbird"?...


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    Abahab
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Abahab on Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:54 pm

    You're not supposed to kill mockingbirds, let alone eat them.


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    xArc of Godx

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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by xArc of Godx on Tue Apr 12, 2011 7:00 pm

    I'm sorry but it's a terrible piece of literature and a terrible bird. Also it's only because people believe mockingbirds don't harm anybody. Tell that to my four year old cousin who was scared out of the pool because of this reckless beast! EAT IT!!
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    gdead65
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by gdead65 on Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:00 am

    riafomh wrote:Okay, my bad - I added the fourth polling option. Feel free to bitch-slap me and remove it gdead, for I know such things can be insulting to people.

    Sounds like you don't get many 'wildlife opportunities' if you are in an urban area - don't you want to enjoy the nature?

    My parents put out some bird houses and now enjoy watching the little buggers mate, fly, fight, get eaten by cats, have babies, kick them out of the nest to fly or die, etc. They even get different species in different years. Cheap entertainment. Feed 'em, too.

    You can put the bird house close to the light fixture, yet out of your way so that you can still get in and out of your front door poop-free. With all that people-traffic, you'd think the bird would prefer something a little off to the side.

    Anyway, I am NO bird expert, that's for sure. I remember being a kid though and being scared to death by the numerous swallows that dive-bombed me into submission once when I took a stroll through THEIR part of the woods.

    no insult taken at all!!! Funny thing is that I do have a birdhouse about 20' away. The problem is that the light fixture is RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THE DOOR. Personally- I have no issue with letting it raise its young there BUT-the wife is another story!I As of now
    I put a rubber snake around the fixture (but did not tell my wife yet.....pretty evil I know)!
    like the idea of taking down the light fixture....


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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by gdead65 on Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:55 am

    Ok- Rubber snake was a bad idea...below is a transcript of a

    me: "Kent speaking, how can I help You
    Wife:"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE ARE YOU FREAKING RETARDED??"
    ME: ".....UH..."
    Wife: "You thought it would be a fun idea to put a sanke on the stairway so I could fall, you know I have balance issues, YOU are a sick fuck do you know that?"
    Me::"UM..I wrapped the snake around the sconce in the hope the bird would be scared away!"
    Wife: "Good thinking einstein. Well the fucking bird tore the shit out of that snake thinking it was breakfast and the nest is almost finished."
    Me: " Well did you take the nest down?"
    Phone <Click>

    When good intentions go bad...I cant wait to get home. First get pecked by the f'ing bird then get ripped by the wife!


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    DentedBullet

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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by DentedBullet on Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:25 am

    Lol! Smile
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    Moliat
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Moliat on Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:41 am

    Ah, good read, good read.

    Sorry as I am for your troubles, that transcript is killing me.


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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Illluminator on Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:06 pm

    Shoot it and eat it.
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Trigger Hexxed on Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:23 am

    Yep...its about that time...

    Cut your losses and pack and let the bird have his home.
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    gdead65
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by gdead65 on Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:06 pm


    This saga has finally come to an end!
    The bird was no designer for its nest pretty much fell apart under its own weight during yesterday's rain. After cleaning up that mess- I realized that My mistake with using the rubber snake (besides royally pissing off my wife) is that I doubt these birds here have ever seen such a reptile so it did not see this colourful asp as a threat.
    I went out to the toy store and got a 2' plastic cat, drilled a hole in its bottom (no jokes bout that pls Very Happy ), warned my wife, and stuck it on top of the lamp.
    As of now, the report is No Nest! Too bad...my stomach was growling......


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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Illluminator on Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:20 pm

    Next time it comes by HS it with a GOL
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    Kaos

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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Kaos on Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:48 pm

    personally i would have rigged the light fixture with some explosives ( a couple of M-80 fireworks could have done the trick.) attached to an electronic igniter and then i would have gotten my bush-wookie suit out and waited.

    or i would have done something along the lines of this...

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    Assau1tKing

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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Assau1tKing on Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:13 pm

    STORMTROOPER729 wrote:Take down the light fixture and laugh in the birds face
    That was brilliant I laughed so hard when I read that Stormtrooper729 lol!
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    DentedBullet

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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by DentedBullet on Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:58 pm

    Don't lie Kaos you would of got out your AT4!
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    KennyMcKillmick
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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by KennyMcKillmick on Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:03 pm

    gdead65 wrote:
    Me: " Well did you take the nest down?"
    Phone <Click>

    Win


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    Kaos

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    Re: Annoying Wildlife Problem

    Post by Kaos on Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:57 am

    DentedBullet wrote:Don't lie Kaos you would of got out your AT4!

    i honestly think a catapult would have been worth the extra work lol Razz

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